Diary of Cinderella

Some of the women here are undecided about whether or not to embrace the love that dares not speak its name.  But not I.  I know when it's time to move on.  And I'm going to mark my territory before one of the others decides to beat me to her:  Aurora.  Ah, beautiful Aurora!  Thanks to Prince Phillip who woke her from that deep mysterious slumber, she is now able to walk among us and shine like the star that she is!

She and I hold hands as we smile at each other.  Oh, look.  There are the men who left the womenfolk to pursue the infamous nancing elf.  They sure look stupid sitting around the base of that gigantic beanstalk.  Why on earth are they doing that?

Aurora and I pretend we do not know those men can see us.  We slowly move closer to each other.  Then we softly press our lips together and kiss.  We can picture the reaction from the men:  their mouths dropping open and their eyes fixated on us.

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Diary of Prince Phillip

That was SO HOT!  Princess Aurora (or Briar Rose, as I first knew her) kissing Cinderella!  I wonder if they'll do it again?!

Gee, it sure is taking those guys a long time to rescue the elf from that giant.  Don't know how much longer we can just sit around down here waiting.  Starting to feel stupid.  Feeling sleepy, too.  Been waiting for hours.  Zzzzzzzzz.

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Diary of Legolas

The giant said he has an idea on how to deal with the problem of those men waiting for me at the bottom of the beanstalk.  We are to enjoy his hospitality while he works on his plan.

Aragorn looks irritated because the Hobbits are still snuggling close to me while they tell me how relieved they are to see me safe and alive and how much they missed me.  The foot rubs Merry and Pippin are giving me feel good.  I could learn to like this.  How come I never noticed before how incredibly cute Frodo looks with those saucer-like blue eyes, that mop of dark wavy hair and that adorable face?

Oh, yes, a good cuddlefest with these Hobbits is just the thing to teach Aragorn a lesson for his earlier feeble attempt at humour.  Let him try to find some warm loving from that life-size doll who was wearing my clothes earlier.  See if I care.

Hmm.  Frodo's lips look so soft and kissable.

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Diary of Frodo

I'm in heaven!  Legolas just now smiled at me and kissed me!  I'm staying right here by his side!  Hmm.  But Sam, Merry and Pippin don't seem to want to leave.  And Legolas doesn't seem to mind that we're all here together.  Oh, well.

Mmm.  He sure smells good!  Like cinnamon bark.

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Diary of Aragorn

I don't believe that elf!  How dare he kiss Frodo right in front of me!  If I show my anger and pull these Hobbits off of him, will I look like a jealous fool?  What kind of game is my elf playing?  Maybe he's just being nice to them for caring about his well-being. 

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Diary of the Giant from Jack and the Beanstalk

This just might work.  Good thing I know how to sew.  There we are.  A set of clothes identical to the ones that belong to Legolas.  I have convinced my niece to give me her fashion doll in exchange for letting her finish off the rest of my gourmet chocolate truffles.  Plus I have to take her shopping at the toy store in the galleria
next week.  It is now time to brief the members of the Fellowship about the plan.

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Diary of Prince Phillip

Suddenly woke up.  When did I fall asleep?  Oh, look.  It's the jealous Ranger and his friends.  Where is the elf?  Oh, no.  No!  It can't be!

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Diary of the Prince Who Used to Want Cinderella

Aagghh!  The beautiful elf has been transformed into a life-size doll!  The Ranger and his friends explained what happened up at the top of the beanstalk.  Apparently some evil sorceress up there took pity on the womenfolk down here and decided to punish us for abandoning the women, so she cast an evil spell and changed the
beautiful elf into this doll!  Oh, no!

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Diary of Saruman

They believed that story?  I swear, the men from that fairy tale world are so gullible and stupid that it's downright embarrassing. *snickers*

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Diary of Legolas

The giant has proven to be a true friend indeed.  He has fooled the fairy tale men here into believing I was changed into that doll.  Meanwhile, he secretly carried me down the beanstalk while I hid in his pocket.  The rest of the Fellowship will meet up with me when we are far away enough from those men so they won't know I'm still alive and well.

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Diary of the Giant from Jack and the Beanstalk

I can sense the rift starting to close.  Time to say good-bye.  I will miss these little creatures, these members of the Fellowship.  I wish them success on their quest.

Legolas asked me if there was anything he could do to repay me for my help.  I asked him to sing one last song for me.

He sang me three.

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Diary of Legolas

We bid farewell to our friend the giant.  He said it was important for us to continue on our quest.  Said something about a rift closing very soon.  Not sure what he meant.

Oh, look.  Aragorn still looks miffed at me.  *snickers*

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Diary of the Mirror on the Wall

Can no longer sense the presence of the beautiful nancing elf or any of his companions.  Oh, well.  At least maybe now the queen won't be so bitchy now that I can tell her she is the fairest of them all if she ever asks me again.

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Diary of Saruman

Back to having the Orcs go after that blasted Fellowship.  Fat lot of good those stupid fairy tale men were.  Last I saw of them before that strange rift closed was the whole lot of them crying and fussing over that life-size blonde fashion doll dressed like the nancing elf.  What a pathetic scene.