Diary of the Giant from Jack and the Beanstalk
That niece of mine is in so much trouble! She disobeyed me after I
told her the elf was off limits, and that she was to tell me ahead of time
when she was coming
over to visit. Just wait until I have a talk with her parents!
I had stepped out back for just a few minutes to pick some fresh herbs and
vegetables from my garden. When I returned I was very surprised to find
seven new
little creatures in my home, no sign of the elf named Legolas and several
of my gourmet chocolate truffles missing.
After calming down the new little creatures and making them realize that
I was no threat to them, we talked. They told me about the 'giant female
child' who had taken Legolas.
There was no time to lose. My little niece could easily harm the elf.
Little girls tend to be very rough with their toys. I tried not to show
any fear, as I did
not want to panic the elf's friends. I calmly told them I would immediately
go to the home of my niece and get Legolas.
They insisted on going with me. I don't blame them, for I myself was
very worried about the elf's well-being.
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Diary of the Niece of the Giant from Jack and the Beanstalk
This new pretty blond dolly is the same size as my other blond dolly that
my parents gave me for my birthday! Wow! I bet they can both wear
each other's clothes!
This will be fun!
**********
Diary of the Giant from Jack and the Beanstalk
I let myself into the home of my niece. My brother and his wife weren't
home. I went upstairs.
The door to my niece's bedroom was open. I peeked inside. There
she was playing at her dollhouse. I stepped into the room. There
was Legolas. She had him
seated next to her blonde fashion doll. Oh, no. Poor Legolas.
What did she do to him? What is that outfit he's wearing?
And that doll next to him is wearing HIS clothes! The elf looks miserable,
poor thing.
**********
Diary of the Niece of the Giant from Jack and the Beanstalk
My uncle came over and took back the pretty dolly with the silky blond hair!
Meanie! I don't know why he won't let me keep it!
He brought the other dollies with him, but he won't let me keep any of them,
either. He's so mean! I'm going to tell my mommy and daddy!
**********
Diary of Aragorn
It was a sight I'll never forget. My beloved elf was seated in that
dollhouse. He was wearing a very short skirted pink dress and matching
pink shoes. Seated next
to him was a life-size doll.
Female, blonde, blue eyes, smiling and very pretty. Boromir and Gimli
couldn't take their eyes off of the doll. They examined it closely,
feeling the arms, legs,
face and hair.
Legolas must have felt embarrassed. He would not look directly at
us. I spoke softly to him and assured him that we would never speak
of this incident, if he so
wishes.
Then Frodo and the other Hobbits rushed over and threw themselves at Legolas.
They all spoke at once, so it was difficult to understand what they were saying
to
him. As before, Merry and Pippin began rubbing his feet and stroking
his legs while Frodo and Sam snuggled closely to him and smiled affectionately
at him. Blast those Hobbits! If I hadn't sworn to protect the
Ring-Bearer, I'd give him and the others a good sound spanking. He and
the others must know that Legolas is MINE!
**********
Diary of Legolas
Thank goodness the giant and the rest of the Fellowship came to rescue me.
I believe I would have gone insane if I had to endure anymore of this giant
female
child's antics.
I will, however, have to speak with Aragorn about his feeble attempt at
humour. Right before we were about to leave this place, he took hold
of the life-size blonde
female doll dressed in my clothes and said, "Let's go, Legolas." Then
he looked at me, pretended to be surprised and said, "Uncanny!"
Har-dee-har-har-har. Just wait until you're in the mood for some warm
cuddling and loving, Aragorn. Maybe I'll be too busy having a cuddlefest
with these
Hobbits that you'll have to wait your turn.
Part 6
Part 4