Diary of the Niece of the Giant from Jack and the Beanstalk
My new dollies won't stay where I put them in my dollhouse. They keep
running around and trying to leave. Bad dollies!
Time for dollies to be a family. The four little dollies can be the
children, and this tall one can be the daddy, and this other tall one can
be the mommy. Hmmm. Mommy with a beard? Oh, well.
If I put this dress on the dolly, maybe it'll look more like a mommy.
And this funny-looking short one with large beard can be the cook.
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Diary of Boromir
Why do I have to wear the dress?
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Diary of Gimli
Why did giant female child put me in this room with all this fake food?
What I am supposed to do with it?
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Diary of Aragorn
This has to be some horrible nightmare from which we must awaken!
And what of my beloved Legolas? Oh, what unspeakable torment and pain
might my beautiful elf be suffering at the hands of that terrible giant?
My poor Legolas!
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Diary of Legolas
Ah! More food and drink! What gracious host giant is!
Even provided me with comfortable giant pillow on which I can rest during
my visit here.
Giant is actually very nice. Does not seem to have any intention of
harming me. Told me interesting stories of other giants, particularly
one currently working for company that sells packaged vegetables and fruits.
Told me I am his guest, not his prisoner, so I am free to leave whenever
I want. But warned me of dangerous creatures outside his castle, such
as giant birds, giant rodents and giant cats.
Working on plan to safely leave this place and return to Fellowship.
I wonder where they are now. And where is Aragorn?
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Diary of the Giant from Jack and the Beanstalk
Brainstorming with elf on how we can get him safely back to his friends
so that they can continue on their important quest. Pointed out to
him that those men who captured him earlier might still be waiting for him
down below at bottom of beanstalk.
Suppose I could just accompany elf down beanstalk and intimidate those men
with my size and strength. Would be easy to convince them to leave elf
and rest of Fellowship alone.
Possibly could even take it one step further by offering to take ring over
to Mt. Doom and drop it down into the volcano. Piece of cake for giant
like me. Would take me only fraction of time to cover distance it would
take these little creatures.
Too bad it would go against unspoken rule of interfering with prime directive.
No point trying to explain that to elf. He wouldn't understand, nor
would his friends.
Besides, strange rift due to close anytime soon. Need to get beings
on their own side of rift before closure is complete, or it could get very
messy.
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Diary of Saruman
What kind of giant is he?! Do the words 'Fee, fie, foe, fum' mean
nothing to him?
Useless, that's what he is! Completely useless!
Look at him! Disgraceful! He should be scaring elf, not being friends
with him! And he should be squashing rest of Fellowship with his giant
feet!
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Diary of Aragorn
The giant female child seems to have become bored with us. Is looking
cross. Said something about how she wishes her mean uncle would have
let her have his 'new pretty dolly with long blond hair'. Hang on!
Pretty dolly with long blond hair? Could it be her uncle is same giant
who took my beloved elf?
Fat lot of good that theory is going to do. How do we get to that
giant? She said he was mean! If he's harmed so much as one hair
on Legolas's beautiful head, he'll have to answer to me!
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Diary of the Niece of the Giant from Jack and the Beanstalk
New dollies no fun anymore. Want my uncle's pretty dolly with long
blond hair instead. Hey! Maybe uncle will trade! I could
give him all seven of these dollies for his one pretty blond dolly!
Oh-oh! Why are there only six dollies in my dollhouse? Where
is small one with dark curly hair?
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Diary of Frodo
Desperate situation calls for desperate measures. Used ring to make
myself invisible. Giant female child stands in way of our finding and
rescuing Legolas.
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Diary of Sauron
WTF??!!! Why is my ring inside a gigantic dollhouse??!!
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Diary of the Cat Who Lives with the Niece of the Giant from Jack and the
Beanstalk
Most curious. Sensing tiny creature leaving dollhouse, but cannot
see it. Can smell it. Can hear it. But cannot see it.
Ready, set, POUNCE!
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Diary of Frodo
AARRGGHH! Giant cat pinned me down! Must quickly remove ring
so my friends can see me and will rescue me!
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Diary of the Cat Who Lives With the Niece of the Giant from Jack and the
Beanstalk
Most curious again. Can now see tiny creature. Not rodent.
Not bird. Tiny person? Very scared tiny person.
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Diary of the Niece of the Giant from Jack and the Beanstalk
Oh, there is missing dolly. Kitty had it. Will thank Kitty with
extra large helping of fish for dinner. Now put small dolly with dark
curly hair back with other dollies in this large basket, so I can take them
to uncle.
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Diary of Sam
Mr. Frodo is alive! Had us so worried there. Giant cat didn't
scratch him; just pinned him down before giant female child got him.
Ow. Bumpy ride in this basket. Where is she taking us?